Cowboy is the one who is athletic, the one with all the musical talent, the one who can fix anything, the list is endllllesssss.

And I, well, I can write. At least that’s what I tell myself. Even if it’s delusional, it’s a world that I’m willing to live in: the world where Melinda is a writer, even if she is mediocre at everything else.

So, today I logged some volunteer time at my kid’s school. I listened to my daughter give a swoony report about Mark Twain. (Am I the only one who feels swoony about him? Even though he died 100 years ago this year? I really want to meet him someday. Ever since my English teacher told me that I had a natural ability for public speaking and compared me to Mark Twain. I don’t even know what that means, if anything, but I’ve held on that scrap, I tell you. So, maybe I can write and speak and that’s part of my happy delusion, also.)

So, I stood in the hall waiting for my son and I happened to see a cute little display on the wall. There were flesh colored pieces of paper that the kids had wrinkled up and drawn self-portraits of what they would like if they were 100 years old. Then they wrote about it. Here is what my genius and humorous and witty and charming son said: (While I’m taking credit here, I may as well go all the way.)

“If I was 100″
by John Morley
If i was 100 I would have tons of wrinkles.
I would sit in a chair for years, I mean seriously.
I’d fall asleep in that chair.
I would love that chair.
I’d own a horse, cat, dog, and a cow.
I would die in that chair if i had to.
The end.

I did have to fix his spelling–at his request, even though I could probably have spelled wrinkles in first grade, he did pretty well for a first grader. He spelled “seriously” right. So, I’ll give him that much. He also excels in math and I can take NO credit for that. I, also, don’t take credit for the fact that he would like to own a cow. I have NO desire for livestock. He must get that from his grandpa.

But his writing, well, it’s rather genius.
If I do say so myself.

The difference?

I’m not quite sure. Probably a combo of things.

1- My husband bought me new light bulbs. Daylight ones. And he put them in my lamp beside my bed and in my bathroom. And I think it is making a HUGE difference in how I feel. Those winter blahs are not getting me down. To call it a miracle is to minimize it, I think. I heart my husband. He is the best.

2- I’ve been writing and I’m back into my story after the tragic loss of my entire draft of revisions. But, I’m back in the saddle again. And I’m loving my story. Loving my characters. And loving the craft. I am DRIVEN to finish it so that I can send it out and eventually share it all with you….wouldn’t that be fun? I can hardly stand it!

3-I’m thrilled because by luck of the draw I was added to Brandon Sanderson’s writing class at BYU. He is a brilliant author and I needed the credit to graduate and (not by chance mind you) was my name drawn. (Six out of 40+ people were drawn.) It was an answer to prayers.

4-I’m heading out to a writer’s retreat. Not going far, but far enough. Five+ days of peace and quiet and writing. And a few writer friends and food. There will be food. And me and my characters. I. Can’t. Wait.

5-I’m running again. I took a tiny break. Stomach flu and Christmas, you know. Half the time I just run on the treadmill because of the lousy air quality here in the winter. Now I hope for snow so that I can run in clean air. I thought I’d never hope for snow.

Well, that’s about it. I must go and run five miles and then clean my house. It’s going to be a busy, busy day.

How is your January coming?

So, my alarm didn’t go off. And then I woke up at 6amish. And thought about not getting up. Running on the treadmill, bleh. But this is the only time I can fit in into my schedule. At least today it is.

Anyway, I swear my body was screaming at me to get up and get going. You see, Mondays are power days for me. I love them. And the first Monday of the New Year is like the Holy Grail of Mondays. I’m just saying. I couldn’t sleep in on this day! No way! The world is my oyster. Whatever that means. Oysters may or may not contain pearls. I don’t need pearls. But I digress. Where was I? Oh, yes.

So I ran a whopping three miles on the coat-tails of the stomach flu and the, what, sleeves(?) of a head cold. But, I did it, just like my running schedule told me, and I think it’s totally fair to hold onto the bar of the treadmill. It’s not cheating.

My poor ugly little treadmill. My treadmill was free from this little old lady who died and they were tearing down her house. My husband is frugal like that. I felt a bit like a hamster on a wheel, but I still did it. Yeehaw. Don’t get me wrong–it felt sooo good to run even when it feels like I’m standing still with an extreme amount of effort.

See, I didn’t exercise at ALL during the holidays. Don’t let this concern you, as the aforementioned stomach flu took care of any extra weight I may have gain. So, in spite of the night I spent lying on the carpeted floor outside my bathroom door (the tile was just too hard to lie down on and bed too far away from the porcelain throne) and the fact that my stomach was pretty much turned inside out (don’t quote me on that), there is a silver lining. I don’t recommend it, but sometimes mother nature is wily, uncontrollable force. Not to be reckoned with but only survived. Eye of the tiger, baby. Bloodshot, light-hurts-your-eyes, I-can’t-look-left-or-right-without-extreme-pain eye of the tiger.

So, I bore my testimony in church yesterday. (For my Non-Mormon friends, there is one Sunday a month where ward members can go to the pulpit and share their convictions of Christ and His church.) So, now that I have revised what I said in my head several, oh, thousand times since yesterday, I must say. It’s brilliant. Now anyway. And I’m still not sure why I bore it in the first place with all my ramblings. See, I still was dealing with the ill effects of the stomach flu. I think it rendered me delirious. Perhaps I should have just stayed home…. I don’t know.

But, now I must write my book. I’m DETERMINED to get it DONE. And I’m behind schedule, because of the stomach flu I wasn’t thinking laundry and woke to no clean underwear. So, I didn’t get to shower on time. But I’m not letting this get me down. Not on Monday.

Here is a video. I recommend it to you. It makes me feel very small and wonder how I, I can be of any consequence in a universe so very, very incomprehensibly large.

But something deep inside whispers that I am, even when my functioning brain tells me that it can’t be so. How even in this entire world, can I make a difference? Can I even MATTER?

But, I must. Even to only a few. To my husband, to my children, to my parents, to my friends I must.

And now 2010 is close upon us. I always have resolutions. I think that is only the only good thing about January–the making of resolutions. And how I love them. I love to think of all the things I’m going to accomplish. And I don’t forget them. I look at them all year long.

Only. . .

This year I didn’t accomplish nearly as many of them as I’d hoped. I didn’t write in my journal like I’d planned. I didn’t read as many books as I’d hoped. Missed my exercise goals–though I can’t complain too much, because I became a runner and ran two races–and I hadn’t planned to do that at all. Instead of finishing the book I’d planned, I wrote another entirely different one. And it’s better. Sooo much better than my first. Still, I didn’t finish school work I’d planned.

But, as I sigh and look at my lofty list from last year, I feel a little down about it. And I shouldn’t. It’s been a great year. It really has. I’ve done a lot.

And now to make a new list….

Running. A half marathon is in my near future and after that, a whole….I’m going to do it. I just have to avoid farm implement and stitches like last year.

Writing. I will completely revise my novel and leap eagerly into the next one. And is publishing in the near future? There are some bites, but who knows?

Education. And my degree? Have I completely forgotten that I’m working toward a Bachelor’s Degree? Yeah. Pretty much. I must buckle down and get that done! But, in truth I’d rather daydream and write my daydreams down.

And will we sell our home and build? 2010 could be a very busy year indeed.

Stay tuned and see how it all turns out…..And if any of it significant at all in the vast universe of things remains to be seen. But, I’d sure like to think so.

So, what are your New Year’s goal?

My leg had been hurting and I hadn’t been able to run all week. I was afraid that I’d end up walking the entire thing. I wanted to run–much less run fast. And though I didn’t sleep hardly at all the night before, I woke up ready. Eye of the Tiger, baby.

I knew I would run. I knew I was strong. I knew I’d be fast. (Relatively speaking of course.)

And it was so cold. Terribly cold. But once the race started, it was fine. I didn’t use my ipod, even though I had spent time making a playlist just to race to. I turned it off and listened. Listened to my breath. Listened to my feet pounding the pavement, and listened to God whispering words of encouragement to my heart. Not words really, but feelings.

And I’m even more convinced that my spirit was made to run. And that the body is God’s creation and it is magnificent.

I ran. Me. Me! The wimpy little girl that couldn’t hardly run around the bases in P.E. and always got picked last ran a 10K and finished. And finished well: faster than I have EVER run before.

I loved it.

And I’m getting faster. And stronger. And healthier.

All my hard work is starting to pay off.

So, here is a little song. I like it. I like thinking about what God wants for me. And life. I hope you enjoy it.